| Author |
Message |
|
|
eponodyne
|
 Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 2:13 pm |
|
|
 Regularly rides in ShelbyvilleJoined: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:16 pmPosts: 1223Location: On The Wheel
|
There are two brothers, Sam and Dean. Sam asks Dean to to watch his house and cat while he is away on vacation. After a few days, Sam calls Dean.
"Hey, how are things? House still standing? How's my cat doing?"
Dean swallowed hard, "Well yeah man, your house is still standing. Nice place you have here. Sorry to tell you this, though, but your cat died."
"What?" Sam said. "You just can't tell someone that their cat is dead. You have to break it to them gently. The first time I call you should say that the cat is on the roof, trying to catch a bird. The second call you should say the cat fell trying to catch the bird as it flew away, and now it's at the vet. The third call should be to tell me that the vet says that it's not looking good for the cat. On the fourth call you let me know that my cat died peacefully in its sleep."
Dean agreed.
"So," Sam continues. "How's Grandma?"
"Well, Grandma's on the roof."
_________________
You make Baby Jesus want to drink gin out of the cat bowl |
|
|
Top
|
 
|
|
|
eviljelly
|
| Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 2:56 pm |
|
|
 Shares birthday with Lance..... Ito!Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2007 12:14 pmPosts: 4577Location: nowhere and everywhere
|
man walks into a bar
ouch
|
|
Top
|
|
|
JenNastix
|
| Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 2:59 pm |
|
|
 Praying to God for the Flamme RougeJoined: Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:56 pmPosts: 2498Location: Atop the highest horse in town.
|
An Irish woman walks out of the bar...
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
_________________
Bike fight club. |
|
|
Top
|
|
|
eviljelly
|
| Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 3:11 pm |
|
|
| Shares birthday with Lance..... Ito!Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2007 12:14 pmPosts: 4577Location: nowhere and everywhere
|
racial
EDIT: i like it
|
|
Top
|
|
|
Vik Strong
|
| Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 3:15 pm |
|
|
 42% more WOTF's than TOTH'sJoined: Thu Jul 19, 2007 10:52 pmPosts: 2373Location: Longfellow
|
-knock knock
-whos there?
-smell mop
-smell mop who?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
_________________
Pedal Pandemic!!!!!! |
Last edited by Vik Strong on Tue May 04, 2010 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
kn_mpls
|
| Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 3:16 pm |
|
|
 Can't stop soaping my legs in the showerJoined: Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:37 pmPosts: 2297Location: NE Mpls - Windom Park
|
How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet?
You can’t touch that toilet, it’s art.
_________________
American cyclist with an unhealthy obsession with speed. |
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
poorimpulsecontrol
|
| Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 11:11 am |
|
|
| EscapeeJoined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:32 pmPosts: 2473Location: MINNEAPOLIS
|
skeleton walks into a bar.
says. "barkeep, gimme a beer and a mob"..
badumpching
_________________
do the next right thing |
|
|
Top
|
|
|
eviljelly
|
| Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 4:59 pm |
|
|
| Shares birthday with Lance..... Ito!Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2007 12:14 pmPosts: 4577Location: nowhere and everywhere
|
what's the difference between a porcupine and a bmw
i'll just let you guys figure that one out
|
|
Top
|
|
|
myhoopdie
|
| Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 5:40 pm |
|
|
| In a gear most men use only on the downhills!Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2010 1:39 amPosts: 274Location: Uncle Franky's.
|
What's better than a frontal lobotomy?
A bottle in-front-o-me.
_________________
Resident Dirtfoot. |
|
|
Top
|
|
|
eponodyne
|
| Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 11:02 am |
|
|
| Regularly rides in ShelbyvilleJoined: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:16 pmPosts: 1223Location: On The Wheel
|
eviljelly wrote: what's the difference between a porcupine and an Audi? FtFy With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside! Am I the only one who thinks that Audi must have teamed up with whatever academy it is that is turning out douchebags by the truckload? Do these guys get a lifetime supply of striped or embroidered shirts and hair gel when they buy their base-model A4? Anyway. Horse walks into a bar. Barkeep pours him a beer, slides it on down and says, "So, fella. Why the long face?"
_________________
You make Baby Jesus want to drink gin out of the cat bowl |
|
|
Top
|
|
|
kn_mpls
|
| Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 1:51 pm |
|
|
| Can't stop soaping my legs in the showerJoined: Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:37 pmPosts: 2297Location: NE Mpls - Windom Park
|
eponodyne wrote: Horse walks into a bar. Barkeep pours him a beer, slides it on down and says, "So, fella. Why the long face?" I LOL'd. This joke is so old it's almost extinct, which makes it hilarious when someone actually tells it.
_________________
American cyclist with an unhealthy obsession with speed. |
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
jweb
|
| Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 2:04 pm |
|
|
 SoigneurJoined: Thu May 21, 2009 9:18 amPosts: 572Location: Corcoran
|
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
A mushroom walks into a bar.
The bartender says: "Get out, we don't serve your kind here!"
The mushroom says: "Why not? I'm a fun guy."
_________________
//TODO: Insert witty/pithy/creative/insightful signature line here. |
|
|
Top
|
|
|
lowrah
|
| Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 2:24 pm |
|
|
 Rides in bad weather just to taunt those who won'tJoined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 10:00 amPosts: 1457Location: P-horn
|
|
|
Top
|
|
|
eponodyne
|
| Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 10:21 pm |
|
|
| Regularly rides in ShelbyvilleJoined: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:16 pmPosts: 1223Location: On The Wheel
|
How do I re-name this the "guy walks into a bar jokes thread?"
_________________
You make Baby Jesus want to drink gin out of the cat bowl |
|
|
Top
|
|
|
Japillahan
|
| Posted: Fri May 07, 2010 9:32 am |
|
|
| Arrière du pelotonJoined: Fri Aug 29, 2008 7:12 amPosts: 524Location: Banned
|
guy walks into his psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but cellophane
psychiatrists says "well, i can clearly see you're nuts"
sandwich walks into a bar
bartender says "im sorry we dont serve sandwiches here"
sandwich says "that's ok i just want a drink"
how many electricians does it take to screw in a lightblb?
one
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
